When you've connected with a woman - either online or out socially - where do you take things next?

The next best step is the coffee date. Dont be so anxious to 'take her out.'

Not right away. That's something you'll want to build to. It communicates all the wrong things to take a woman out to dinner you've only just met.

It says hey I want to impress you with money, food, treating you because 'you're such a great woman,' 'I want to put you on a pedistal and treat you like the princess you are.' She's done nothing to deserve such a treat except show up. Ick.

Remember as a confident man, in control of his own reality - you always have plenty of choices. You have plenty of dating options. Dont be so eager to impress women - give them a chance to impress you - keep the dynamics in balance - maintain the sexual tension so vital to attraction.

Tell her you'd like to meet up for a coffee - on the weekend, mid-morning. Do it at a time that's clear that a meal is not involved. And it keeps that next interaction brief.

For you the goal is to see if there's a connection - and as you improve your dating skills, you'll have plenty of oppportunities to fill up your dance card.

Dont be so eager to waste your time (and money) on a girl up front. If things are really clicking in your dating life, you'll be going on a lot of first dates, in short order.

Starbucks is great - every city has them. Even a girl you wish to meet who may live abit away from your home. If it makes sense, you hit it off - you can always extend the coffee date into a second date, on the spot.

Do so then by going for a walk to a different place - telling her how awesome this park is down the street, or a shop is down the strip. Perhaps a lunch afterwards. But keep the follow up date short - its daytime. Without the cloudiness of alcohol or night time to blur your vision and judgement.

To really make an impact - if you are from out of town and don't know the area - scope the place out in advance - even an hour early to check out the local shops.

That gives you an informal agenda of cool places to go back and visit together after you've had your coffee. Makes you look pretty terrific - a guy out of town who knows his way around her turf.

Once you've mastered ice breaking and mid game - you're on your way to building up those first crucial 8 hours in comfort and rappoire building. Those 8 hours can be broken out over several interactions. Some people like to condense those eight hours of comfort into a single meeting.

The risk you run in rushing through those comfort and rappoire-building stages in those first eight hours is that a woman will feel funny about herself later. Write off the experience altogether.

So get to know the Starbucks around your area - check Yahoo address for Starbucks in other cities where you might meet someone.

Call up the store if it's away - ask them about any cool stores within walking distance. Funny thing about Starbucks - they are always located in/around cool venues.

In years past I'd set up coffee dates in advance, in cities where I knew I'd be assigned to work for a week - even a few days. Last year I spent a great deal of time in Boston - I got to know women from the Boston area online - knowing I'd be spending time there.

When I arrived I had a nice itinerary setup - filled with coffee and drink dates to fill my evenings and weekend.